Milestone 4- Purity (part 2)

How can we help our students win the purity battle? One skirmish at a time. Often I lose the war in an area of my life because I try to take back what was lost in just one battle. We regain the ground the same way we gave it up. One step at a time. I can't get to a place tomorrow if I don't know where I am today. What areas have I given up in the area of purity? Often I can't begin to name all the places I left my character. A little here and a little there. This endeavor, that hobby, over there. Only God knows and so I begin by asking Him to find all the pieces to purity in the life of my student. (Good practice for this is asking God to re-unite all the pieces of my heart in the area of purity. He'll do it.)

Friends. What friendships do I need to encourage in the life of my student? Remember, our goal is purity. If our student doesn't have any good friends, that's where I start. Be creative in the way you inquire about friends. Get involved at whatever level you are allowed and work from there. If you vote your stock too soon by saying "because I'm your father", we'll suffer a set back. Ask questions. Don't preach sermons.

Dating and courtship. One comment: Treat your spouse in a way your student will want to treat their opposite sex friends. For the student, purity is modeled in the life of the parent.

Boundaries. Yes. And lots of them. Let students watch you build the fences. Talk to them so they know why we observe limitations. Many of our boundaries deal with issue of time. "When can I...?" Even as students grow up, talk about how important right timing is in every process of life

Celebrate Find one thing to remind students about purity. Every time they see that special object, hear a certain code word, or recall a person, they associate this image with a vow to purity. For some, it may be a ring or an annual event or a personal gift. I'll never forget a conversation with my father in the area of purity and faithfulness. When I wondered one time how he was able to remain faithful to my Mom. he responded, "Wasn't that what I was supposed to do?" Someone modeled purity for him and so I was able to model purity for my sons. Can it be this simple? Yes! Note: I didn't say is was easy.

Show me your friends and I'll show you your future.

Milestone 4- Purity

This is a tough one. Not because we can't experience purity in our life, but because the odds are against us. Barna & Gallup polls reveal that 9 out of 10 Christians do not live the Christ life they confess. That is pressure we don't need. The world values alone are hard combatants, but "we are our own worst enemy" when it comes to purity. Usually we associate purity with "things we do" but the headwaters of purity lie in the "things we are."

Students are looking in a lot of places for their identity and values. Often they leave home with one set of values (Dan & Mom's), usually good ones, only to jettison them along the way as they develop their own "new" set of values. Every day our students wrestle with surroundings of inferiority, conformity, independence and for sure, questions about love. How can we be pure in a impure world?

One word: FRIENDS! Andy Stanley said, "Show me your friends and I will tell you your future." What kind of friends do my son or daughter have? Do they support the pure values of God's Word? This not only refers to real friends, but made up friends also. TV, video and movie friends. Do you find it alarming that we will invite some people into our living rooms through a TV program that we would never allow through our front door? What kind of friends have I exposed my self and my family to?

Now that the TV is off, how can I help my student develop healthy friendships? Or, how can I help my child loosen the grip of wrong friends?

More in part 2.

Milestone 3- Preparing for Adolescence

Three things help guide this stage in our student's life:

• Scripture


• Peer Groups


• Time

During this time, nothing lasts like scripture. The Bible is our best ally when it comes to preparation. There is more hope for understanding God's Word than there is understanding hormone changes, growth spurts, and increased appetites. A student's desire to belong gels during this time and the budget takes a huge hit if students wake up and decide they want to try and keep up with the latest fashion. During this time, be sure your student knows the value of God's Word, especially memorizing and owning it. If they know what God wants them to do, they'll think twice before doing what the wrong crowd is doing.

Peer groups are very influential. Try this: Change their peer group. Parents would do better if students looked up to their parents rather that friends who stand and fall at the least wind. This comes when parents spend time with their students. Please, don't give me the come back "I spend quality time (vs. Quantity time) with them." Any time spent with students is quality time. Be different and spend lots of time with them. The wrong peer group will do this if you don't want to do it. If you don't know what your students are doing, you're not spending time with them. Learn their likes, hangouts, tastes, and favorite music, books and videos. Be courageous if some of their desires need stern course corrections.

The last thing concerns time. Take time to help them see their value and worth. Take time to show them what is really important in life. Be sure, though, that our actions as parents back up our words. This is the greatest thing we can offer at this stage of life: consistency. Allow them time to be independent. This is a time of "firsts" for our students. First love (or crush). First time on their own (trip to mall with friends). First test of values, morals and trusts.

Help students interpret some of these changes even before they face them. Without judging people, take them to places to watch people and discuss actions, values and consequences. Perhaps select a place farther away from home so that the student can learn with a crowd they might not have contact with again. Help them to uncover the deceit in advertising, store front images and movies they might watch. There is no better use of time than these adolescent years.

Try the resource below for extend talks with your students on these issues:
ʺPreparing for Adolescenceʺ (Dr. James Dobson) • 738304 • 8 CD Album (includes 6 CDs for teen/pre‐teens, and 2 leadership CDs for parents)
Dr. Dobson brings the conversational warmth straight to you and your adolescent. Among the many topics

Family Ministry

Last Sunday, Pastor Rod spoke about Legacy Milestones, a strategy for raising up disciples in your home. Children today often see religion from a once a week, "in the box experience" point of view. Milestones spreads a vision for the parents to be the primary faith trainers, the home being the primary place of training and the church being the equipper of the parents. All of this comes from Deut. 6:4-7. Even one-parent families are successful in making disciples at home as they partner with the church, mentors and support groups.

Every step is important and provides order to the Great Commission in Matt: 28:18-20. No longer can families out source their responsibilities to others or even to the church when it comes to raising up the next godly generation. Parents shouldn't allow their irresponsibility to become another's responsibility. Examine the milestones in the next few blogs. Purpose to commit your ways to the Lord.

Special thanks to Brian Haynes and Kingsland Baptist Church.

A Hot Air Balloon over Anderson Mill