Milestone 6-Leaving Home

(Taken from Southern Baptist Texan, June 24, 2012)

VIDOR– College is a time when Christians have their faith challenged and even demeaned on secular campuses. So Tony Romero, director of Collegiate Ministries at FBC, Vidor, and Lance Crowell, SBTC church ministries associate, offered several tips for parents who want to help their children stay grounded to the faith through college:

> Realize that a Christian upbringing does not guarantee a strong walk with Christ through college. “No matter how well (parents) prepare their kid, no matter how awesome that kid was in church, and how exposed to the Scripture he was, whenever they graduate and go to school, [their faith] is going to have to become theirs.” Romero said. “They’re going to have to own it.” He added that Christian instruction at home and in a church youth group provides a “valuable foundation” for a godly living in college.

> Urge your children to participate in a Bible study with Christian peers during the college years. This is the best ways to solidify Christian faith in a student’s heart, Romero said. One key purpose of a college Bible study is to teach the overarching narrative of Scripture so students realize how the entire Bible fits together. “They need to be engaged in a Bible study among peers, “ he said. “Not a lecture, but rather a guided discussion where you have someone there who, it they start picking up some heresy, is able to address that. Crowell agreed that peer group Bible study is important, and he added that students should not isolate themselves from study opportunities with the larger church body.

.>Be patient. Your children are in an awkward phase between adolescence and adulthood.

“They’ve been told they’re adults, but they’re not really adults yet.” Romero said, “because they haven’t quite got the experiences that qualify them for adulthood. And they don’t really know who they are and what they want to do and where they want to go.”

> Don’t pressure your children into a certain career path. Teach them that security comes from walking with God, regardless of what job they choose. “They’re going to use this time in their life to discover what it is that God’s gifted them with that they’re going to find fulfillment in, “ he said.

>Help your children take on some “real-world” responsibilities in college to learn principles of decision making. “Give them a little bit of freedom to make the tough decisions without influencing every little thing they do,” Romero said. “When they fail, allow them to fail. They’ll learn from that. But so often, parents don’t want them to fail. So they’ll cushion everything, and then by the time it’s their turn to make really tough decisions, they’re either extremely indecisive or they fail and never get back up.” Find a church the student can invest in as well as connect with. “We believe that as hard as it is to find a new church and to connect well, they have to find a local body of believers in a local church to invest in. We see this as foundational for them and formative for them for years to come, “ Crowell said.*

Papaw's Dressing

There's lots of chopping going on at several Magness homes this week. Onions, celery and more are in preparation for the main event- Thanksgiving! There are some variations of manuscripts that are passing around the descendants of our clan. As best I can tell, the original recipe was found in the Houston Post or Chronicle newspaper but has since morphed into the dressing we have today.

Here is our copy of primarily ingredients with some important comments, the best one is at the bottom: Taste as you go!" I guess that best sums up Dad's life. Though raised in the old school era, he was an entrepreneur. As he passed through this life, he sampled new things, especially new relationships. I can only hope that the dressing tastes right this year. Oh, and don't forget the secret: fresh hand rubbed sage!

Intentions v. Intentionality

We all have good intentions. In fact we've heard that the road to you know where is paved with good intentions. That's the best we can sometimes say about intentions. They are stand alone "woulda coulda shouldas". What if we put feet to these good intentions, roll them into a plan and do them? Now that's intentionality!. Great ideas with a plan.

Do you have someone you have been wanting to ask to church or Bible study? Perhaps someone you have had on your heart for a while?

Why not put that great idea into action and plan to invite them this week to join you at church. You may not be able to reach the world, but you can reach your world. You won't however reach anyone without a plan.

Rite of Passage

If you ask a 16 year old about a "rite of passage" you might get the answer, " When I get the keys to the car..." somewhere in their response. Dads, there are better things than that awaiting our sons (and daughters). I was reading the current issue of LifeWay's Home Life magazine and saw the article "Rites of Passage." Wow! What a powerful way to bless our children. The article told a story of a father who wanted to do something special for his teenage son. "An unforgettable journey" was the father's gift.

Outdoor interests were the backdrop for the journey as the father planned a hike for his son. The father placed a few men who had meaningful relationships with his son along the trail at various intervals. As the father and son "happened" upon the first man, the son would pause and then walk farther down the trail as the new hiking partner shared his blessing blessing. As the pair came to the next person, the son would continue the hike with the new partner as the previous partner dropped back, and again the new pair would walk on. On the adventure went until the end of the hike.

One more surprise was planned for the son. All the significant men were at a lunch in honor of the son. Key women in the son's life also participated in this mealtime.

Some variations came to my mind to help in special situations. Obviously some key people may not be around to participate. Death, job transfers and other factors may need a workaround in order to make the journey meaningful for your child. Cherished aging grandparents may be able to be videoed with their blessing. A letter of congratulations and even a digital recording might be acceptable ways to share in the moment. Plan ahead! The possibilities are many, but don't let regrets shorten or delay the incredible jouurney you can have for your children.

"Rites of Passage." LifeWay Home Life magazine. July 2011. Pages 40-42

Read the Bible For Life

"Only 16% of churchgoers read the Bible daily and 25% of churchgoers don't read the Bible at all." When I read this quote from George Guthrie of the Ryan Center at Union University in Jackson, Tennessee, my heart ached. Not just because 3 out 4 of those sitting in our church don't read God's Word, but mostly from the ache I had for my own drought of not reading God's Word that dotted my early Christian life.

For some weeks I have been looking at this material. I remember growing up how my Sunday School teachers taught us the books of the Bible and all the different literary styles contained in the Bible. It wasn't until recently that I developed an appreciation for just reading God's Word. Jan & I read through the Bible each year as a couple. (Those hard to pronounce names in the Old Testament don't get any easier to say.)

• 25 million copies of the Bible are sold in the US annually
• 9 out of 10 homes in the US have a Bible
• More than 400 million copies of all or part of the Bible are distributed through Bibles societies each year

A LifeWay research study tells us that daily Bible reading is the number 1 predictor of spiritual maturity and yet only 16% of church goers read their Bibles daily. On a pew of 6 people, only one person reads their Bible daily.

I trust that you lead your family to be better than average when it comes to reading God's Word.

Neckties Required!

A man dying of thirst walked through the desert. As he stumbled over a sand dune, he was greeted by a man selling ties. The dehydrated man begged for water, but the salesperson said he only had ties. In frustration and anger, the thirsty man continued his journey for survival.

Within an hour he reached an isolated restaurant in the middle of the desert. At first he thought he was seeing a mirage; but as he drew closer, he knew the restaurant was real.

He felt ecstatic. He ran for the door, but a security guard stopped him and denied him entry into the restaurant. "I'm sorry," said the guard, "but to eat in here you must have a necktie."

I read this cute story and thought about ways God grows the His Kingdom and His church. Recently we started an Outreach Strategy to connect guests and prospects to Anderson Mill Baptist Church. Outreach is rather simple, but often overlooked. It's like the necktie in the story. It may not seem relevant in the beginning, but without outreach nobody profits. Our Outreach Strategy:

• Demonstrates that we really are a friendly church.
  
• Helps everyone to attach a name to a face.
  
• Allows our church to extend a timely "Thank You for being our guest."
  
• Gives us an opportunity to share His story, the gospel.
  

Already, several AMBC members are helping our guests to connect with God and His church. You can join us. Just comment on this blog and we'll contact you about orientation. If everyone would be involved once a month, His church will grow.

Marriage Mentoring

This year AMBC allocated budget support for our first in-house Marriage Enrichment Conference. On August 26-27, 2011, Dr. Scott Floyd and his wife will be our guests for this exciting event. (More on this later.) As part of this conference and in line with our Milestones strategy, we will offer marriage mentors to those attending the conference.

Who are mentors? "Mentoring involves life-to-life exchanges that help others discover and pursue their passions and sort out their priorities." David Stoddard¹ Mentors are couples who model life, help mentorees set and keep goals and challenge and encourage couples in their journey.

Why do we sometimes need mentors? Jan & I were remodeling our home in Alvin several years back. One delivery truck was loaded with lumber and supplies. As the truck backed into our driveway, the weight was too much and the truck sank in the soft clay soil just off the drive. It wasn't going anywhere without help. Jan was keeping a toddler at the time and he was watching all this take place. The driver came to the door and told us. "I need to call Bobby." Bobby was the dispatcher at the lumberyard. Our small toddler friend heard this and commented, "I sure hope Bobby has a tractor." Like tractors, mentors can help keep the relationship moving. Whether we have slowed down or come to a complete stop, we may need a little help to get out of the clay and back on firm ground.

Who might profit from a mentoring relationship? Anyone can. Whether we are preparing for, repairing or trying to maximize our marriage, mentors can be the short term guide for the journey.

If you are interested in looking into having a mentor in your marriage, sign up today for the Marriage Enrichment Conference. Click on the stack of cups to register.

¹
The Complete Guide to Mentoring. Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. Zondervan, 2005. Page 28

More Helpful

In 1979, our hometown of Alvin, TX was devastated by a flood. Some reports put the rainfall in 24 hours at 48 inches. Our home was flooded with 5+ feet of water. Everything below that mark was ruined. My parents were on their way back from vacation, and I met my Dad at our home. As he and I saw the damage, I made the remark to him, "I know just how you feel." He stopped in mid-stride, turned and looked at me and replied, "No son. I don't think you know how I feel."

He was right. My words, though meant to comfort, could have been stated in a more helpful way.

I was in a hospital about 4 weeks ago as my Father lay dying. Again, I heard words of comfort from so many. Many of these words proved to be more helpful to me than ones I might have said if the circumstances were switched. Friends' words were tempered with wisdom and true sorrow. Words like "I'm so sorry this happened," rather than "It happened for the best." Or "I can only imagine how you've coped," soothed the heart better than "Be strong and you'll get through it."

Words are sometimes used to help others know we care, but the greatest expression of care came from friends just being there. These were not offering words but they were giving of themselves and their time. They just sat with me and other family members.

I hope I'm a little more perceptive and a lot more helpful than I was in 1979.

Go to church and preserve your marriage!

I've been reading a recent article "The Christian Divorce Rate Myth (what you've heard is wrong)". We've heard that the divorce rate among Christians is the same as in the general population. There are things that will act to lower the divorce rate for Christians. One, which the article noted, was being connected and active in a local church. It isn't enough just to attend once in a while. We must put church as a regular in our weekly schedule. Faith does matter. Do your family a favor- go to church and invite others to join you.

Watch for details concerning our Marriage Conference 2011.

The Worth of Jesus

Years ago, Maurice Wright, a British farmer, bought a large painting at a neighborhood auction for less than $4 and stored it in his barn. After it collected cobwebs for several years, Wright's accountants noticed the painting and wondered if it was worth anything.

The farmer's accountant took a color picture of the painting and sent the picture to Christy's, a respected London auction firm. Surprisingly, he learned that the painting was the work of Thomas Daniell, a highly acclaimed 19th century artist.

Art critics had been aware of the existence of a missing 1808 Daniell, but its whereabouts had been a mystery for more than a century. Wright sold the painting at an auction for more than $90,000.

Imaging finding something that valuable in a barn!

Over 2000 years ago, Wise Men discovered a priceless treasure in a manger. They lavished their gifts and admiration on the baby Jesus. It was unlikely that the long awaited Messiah would be discovered laying in a manger, but there He was. Here lay the most precious gift ever to arrive on the earth.

When looking for that "perfect" gift for loved ones this Christmas, consider Jesus. Tell loved ones about the most costly, yet free gift ever found. Offer the eternal gift of life this Christmas season.

Good Friday is the Christian's "Veterans Day"

We remember. The veterans who served us through their many selfless sacrifices. One such veteran enlisted in February 1942 into a war that would end 3 1/2 years later. His trip begins in Dallas and Brownwood, Texas. He had to cut short his education at Texas A & I in Kingsville to serve his country. While at Brownwood he helped two friends, Kirby & Slim. They hadn't made it to high school so they needed help writing letters home. All Kirby & Slim knew was hard work on the shrimp boats. September came and the veteran was riding the rails to Fort Dix, NJ. A week long trip and then onto a South African banana boat headed to Birmingham, England. Three weeks packed like sardines, they dodged German submarines. 120 ships heading across the North Atlantic.

All they knew was that they were there to stop the evil that had already swept Europe. They weren't ready to lay down their life for family, friends and country, but they did their best to prepare themselves for this possibility.

Almost 2000 years ago another prepared to lay down His life for everyone. The day is Friday and the darkness of the world would soon signal the death of this lone Man. What our service veterans did for us closely parallels what Jesus did for us on the cross. We own much to those fallen soldiers but we owe everything to Jesus. Freedom comes with a cost that can only be satisfied through humility of mind and thoughts about others. That was Jesus' way. He left us the memory of His life to give us the life that we enjoy today.

Whether World Wars, conflicts or operations, there will always be a time to remember those who made our life possible today. Don't waste their sacrifice. Don't ignore the life of our Lord Jesus.

Oh, the "veteran"? He's my Dad. Thanks Dad. Perhaps more later on his experiences.

A special thanks to Amber Magness for her interview with my Father.

Home Field Advantage for Ministry

Sometimes in ministry, you have to make a "home field advantage.' No one gives it to you. Usually this means two things: building leaders and encouraging members. No ministry runs on "auto pilot". Every month if not every week, you need to contact every leader and make sure they will be there. No matter what their responsibility is, they have to show up. If it is to make coffee in the classroom, hang out with students or check families in at the preschool. We have to get good at showing up. Showing up can be as important as breathing: inhale... exhale. Inhale information, exhale people skills. But we have to be there!

How should we encourage members? Encouragement is spelled T-I-M-E. We have to invest time. At times, it requires us to invite people into our lives. We don't have time, do we? But, we do shop. We go places. We eat and drink coffee. We do errands. There's our time. If we want home field advantage in ministry, we take someone with us. Jesus seemed to always have three and usually 12 guys hanging around Him. These guys saw Jesus do everything. They saw the drama. They felt the pain. They experienced the struggles. They did life together.

In short: you don't have to plan a program. Just invite people into your life. That's home field advantage!

More Beautiful Canada.

We are in Grand Falls, New Brunswick. There is a water fall there, but it is grander in the spring during the spring snow melt. Our B & B was wonderful. On older house with gracious hosts. We were greeted with hot tea and cookies when we arrived. There wasn't a great selection for supper, so we tried some "pub grub." "Try the potatoes" we were advised. This land is also known for potato production. We had hoped to locate a church for Sunday worship, but the English speaking Baptist church in town had closed down. We tried in other towns to located a worship service, but we settled for our daily Bible reading along the way.

Church buildings were everywhere. We must assume that people are religious about something. We'll be glad to get back to our sweet home church at Anderson MIll.

As we travel toward Quebec, the scenery changes. The beauty is changing and the homes are losing their charm. We notice that most signs are in French (I guess). Though I had 2 years of French in high school, it doesn't help much. Except for a few familiar vocabulary words, it is very foreign. We look for those universal international signs for McDonald's and enjoy a large coffee.

Beautiful Gardens

There were beautiful plants everywhere. Sedum and hostas were the plants of choice. Though the growing season is short, the milder climate makes thes plants and flowers grow bigger and vibrant. Flowering plants were gorgeous and plentiful. It was had to limit the pictures to just a few shots.Many businesses also chose flowers to highlight their locations. Many used vegetables and crops to draw attention to their unique offerings. We favored bakeries, farm stands and farmers markets as places to browse and of course, purchase tasty travel food.

It was harvest time, so all varieties of pumpkins and gourds were decorating highway corners and front yards. We just couldn't resist.

The Land of Green Gables (and a 70 mile Garage Sale!)

WOW! Even though the rain has dampened the day, this place is certainly worth the trip. We've enjoyed eating apples, PEI jellies and jams and some great food. Our daughter Karen told us to take along another suitcase for collectables. We collected lots of rocks from NB and now we're in the hunt for garage sale stuff. Did I mention apples! I've never seen and tasted so many great varieties of apples. Many of these varieties don't make it to the Texas market because of shipping characteristics of some apples.

Our final day on PEI was treasure hunt. We had such fun and met some wonderful people from a variety of people. We'll head for NB and Quebec tomorrow. We'll share some beautiful pics of PEI flowers and other organic stuff.

What a beautiful place.

We arrived on PEI across the Confederation Bridge. It is free to get onto the island, but you have to pay to get off! Our first full day was full of everything but rain. We visited a bottle house, twoactually. A catholic man started recycling empty candle jars and mortared them into the malls of two houses. Quite interesting.

They grow a lot of potatoes and they the even have a potato museum. They are harvesting

potatoes right now. Apples are in and they are good. We tried some Johnny Mac apples and they were good. Fruit and veggies are plentiful and cheap. They have a lot of festivals. This weekend seems to be loaded with opportunities. One place is having a scarecrow contest. I think that what it supposed to be. You judge!

O, Canada!

We made it to Canada! We're celebrating 31 wonderful years as married, Best Friends. It is so much fun doing something with someone you enjoy.New Brunswick is a neat place. We found a really classic place.

We moved briefly into Nova Scotia, but the rain prevented any more than that. Perhaps on the return trip we can spend more time. We are finding some cute fire stations, mostly volunteers. No one could operate without an army of volunteers.

More homemade bread makes a wonderful day. We manage to locate some good coffee shops and that keeps us warm and going! Zing!!

We make it to PEI late in the afternoon. A cute farm house and some gracious hosts make a

good impression. The people staying here came from all over. Some spoke French, Japanese and that other language- Jersey! What an eclectic group.

We made a quick jaunt to the Green Gables area before retiring for the day. This is only part of the charm for the island. Certainly the greatest treasure lies within the people who live here and come here. Tomorrow we will see some quirky stuff and hopefully some great PEI apples and fruit

We're off!

The Lord is so good to give us a church family who allows us some time to recharge. We're on our way north and it is so good to have some wonderful parts of the US & Canada to visit. We weren't long in to Maine before we had to stop for some fresh baked bred and blueberry jam. We made stops at L.L. Bean and the Village Candle factory. Two places Jan and I had wanted to visit.

We stayed at a former governor's home, The Baxter House. Great innkeepers from England. They have great plans to complete the restoration of the home and the gardens.

We are headed for St. John, New Brunswick. More later...

Tuesday- Read, Read, Read!

Spend time reading the passage. Read it in context. Even if you are familiar with the verses above & below the lesson passage, re-read. Look for key words. Note: God, Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit are always key words. Words repeated often in a passage help me to see the point and applications will usually have their anchor in these key words.

Look for contrasts. Proverbs has the best example of contrasts. They usually are polarized words (light- dark, wisdom-folly, sin- righteousness).

Notice any time words such as when, now, or immediately. They help define action, either past present or future. Timing is everything with God.

Begin to study the lesson outline in view of the passage. Usually, the series of lessons will have a common thread. Using this common thread, develop a "POINT" and reinforce this point at the end of each section of scripture, Help learners remember the point through the use of objects, illustration or stories. You may even choose a song to help remember the "POINT." Jesus used everyday objects in culture to help people remember the message long after He was gone.

Be sure to gather any props early in the week. Many good lessons have diminished lasting effect because the teacher forgot to bring the objects, song or other visual aid.

Making a Plan- Monday

It's Monday and time to layout the basic plan for the lesson. There are three basic plans I like to integrate in a lesson:

• Asking Good Questions
• Parable or object lessons
• Discussion

Questions help learners THINK about personal application of a passage of scripture. Jesus would use questions to answer a question others asked of Him.

Objects help focus the learners (and the teacher!) on the focus of the lesson. Jesus used everyday objects to teach a spiritual point. Imagine every time you see a particular object, you think about a spiritual truth. There's not a time I see a fig tree that I don't think about Jesus cursing the fig tree.

Sitting down and talking about an aspect of life was used by Jesus from His youth onward. Discussion doesn't mean lecture. Learners have the opportunity to share their personal take or change option with others in the class.

Resources like the LifeWay Quicksource Leader plan book offer helps for each of these approaches to teaching. Take a moment to blend all three approaches into your lesson each week.